Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi
Apr. 14th, 2020 10:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
halojedha5/5. An extraordinary first novel. I've never read anything like this before. It made me flinch, shout, and laugh in shock and awe. It comes with a hefty load of content warnings and is utterly compelling.
Ada is a Nigerian girl possessed before she was born by a collective of malicious little gods from the other side. Daughter of python goddess Ala, the earth, from whose mouth all freshwater flows, Ada's childhood is cursed with these amoral spirit selves who enjoy causing pain and thirst after blood.
Content warnings: childhood trauma, abandonment, CSE, rape, self harm, eating disorders, suicide attempts.
Early traumas leave their mark on Ada - her little sister is hit by a truck in front of her eyes, and her mother abandons her unfulfilling marriage and her children to go and work in Saudi Arabia. Later, we learn about other awful things that happened to her as a child. By the time she's a teenager, she's named her two others Shadow and Smoke, and she regularly self harms to appease their bloodlust - "little sacrifices" that make her reality bearable for a while.
She attends college in Virginia. She's not interested in sex, but she does want intimacy and romance. When her first serious boyfriend abuses her, the trauma brings a new self to the fore - Asughara, the beastself. Blazing with fury, sexual passions and hungers , Asughara is remorseless and unafraid. She comes to the front to protect Ada from men, and to have her own fun. Asughara rips her way through Ada's social group, breaking hearts and relationships in her wake.
Whenever Ada falls in love, the deal is that Asughara steps in front for sex with her lover, so Ada doesn't have to endure it. Unfortunately this means that her lovers never get to experience sexual tenderness or intimacy with Ada, only Asughara, who feeds on sexual violence and pain. A trauma split - and an asexual trauma survivor possessed by a succubus.
Ada's relationships don't last, but her relationship with Asughara is powerful and permanent, like a fiercely loyal, controlling, protective, abusive twin sister. The confrontations between Ada and Asughara are the most memorable in the book - and the honest, intimate conversations they share years later are satisfying and cathartic. When Ada seeks psychiatric help and confronts Asughara, Asughara takes it as a personal betrayal and existential threat. And when Asughara is visited by spirits, brothersisters from the other side, they challenge her to return to the spiritual realm from which she came - along with the rest of the collective that is Ada. Convinced that this homecoming is the best thing for Ada, Asughara makes it her mission to persuade Ada to suicide, so they can all return to the nest of their mother Ala together.
Meanwhile another self has come to the fore: Saint Vincent, a gentle male personality. As he comes to the front more often, Ada's gender fluidity becomes more visible, along with her bisexuality. She ends up getting top surgery to sculpt her body in ways that make Saint Vincent feel more at home in it - the ultimate blood sacrifice. And finally, it's getting back in touch with her Igbo cultural roots that helps Ada create harmony between her disparate selves.
This skillfully tells three stories at the same time: the story of a traumatised kid who develops Divided Identity Disorder, and suffers decades of poor mental health before finally finding healing. It's also a queer and trans coming out story. And it's a spiritual myth rooted in Igbo cosmology, of how to survive embodiment when you're a god.
The story is told out of sequence, with multiple narrative voices - Ada's going from hesitant and oblique to confident and self-possessed, Asughara blistering throughout, but with the feeling of an unreliable narrator due to her skewed perspective.
This book is bold and breathtakingly original. To my surprise, despite the challenging content I didn't find it triggering - Ada's story has such narrative weight, and the painful parts make so much sense in context, that I experienced it as a rich and satisfying work of art rather than as anything relevant to my own experience. An intense ride, but a rewarding one.
Ada is a Nigerian girl possessed before she was born by a collective of malicious little gods from the other side. Daughter of python goddess Ala, the earth, from whose mouth all freshwater flows, Ada's childhood is cursed with these amoral spirit selves who enjoy causing pain and thirst after blood.
Content warnings: childhood trauma, abandonment, CSE, rape, self harm, eating disorders, suicide attempts.
Early traumas leave their mark on Ada - her little sister is hit by a truck in front of her eyes, and her mother abandons her unfulfilling marriage and her children to go and work in Saudi Arabia. Later, we learn about other awful things that happened to her as a child. By the time she's a teenager, she's named her two others Shadow and Smoke, and she regularly self harms to appease their bloodlust - "little sacrifices" that make her reality bearable for a while.
She attends college in Virginia. She's not interested in sex, but she does want intimacy and romance. When her first serious boyfriend abuses her, the trauma brings a new self to the fore - Asughara, the beastself. Blazing with fury, sexual passions and hungers , Asughara is remorseless and unafraid. She comes to the front to protect Ada from men, and to have her own fun. Asughara rips her way through Ada's social group, breaking hearts and relationships in her wake.
Whenever Ada falls in love, the deal is that Asughara steps in front for sex with her lover, so Ada doesn't have to endure it. Unfortunately this means that her lovers never get to experience sexual tenderness or intimacy with Ada, only Asughara, who feeds on sexual violence and pain. A trauma split - and an asexual trauma survivor possessed by a succubus.
Ada's relationships don't last, but her relationship with Asughara is powerful and permanent, like a fiercely loyal, controlling, protective, abusive twin sister. The confrontations between Ada and Asughara are the most memorable in the book - and the honest, intimate conversations they share years later are satisfying and cathartic. When Ada seeks psychiatric help and confronts Asughara, Asughara takes it as a personal betrayal and existential threat. And when Asughara is visited by spirits, brothersisters from the other side, they challenge her to return to the spiritual realm from which she came - along with the rest of the collective that is Ada. Convinced that this homecoming is the best thing for Ada, Asughara makes it her mission to persuade Ada to suicide, so they can all return to the nest of their mother Ala together.
Meanwhile another self has come to the fore: Saint Vincent, a gentle male personality. As he comes to the front more often, Ada's gender fluidity becomes more visible, along with her bisexuality. She ends up getting top surgery to sculpt her body in ways that make Saint Vincent feel more at home in it - the ultimate blood sacrifice. And finally, it's getting back in touch with her Igbo cultural roots that helps Ada create harmony between her disparate selves.
This skillfully tells three stories at the same time: the story of a traumatised kid who develops Divided Identity Disorder, and suffers decades of poor mental health before finally finding healing. It's also a queer and trans coming out story. And it's a spiritual myth rooted in Igbo cosmology, of how to survive embodiment when you're a god.
The story is told out of sequence, with multiple narrative voices - Ada's going from hesitant and oblique to confident and self-possessed, Asughara blistering throughout, but with the feeling of an unreliable narrator due to her skewed perspective.
This book is bold and breathtakingly original. To my surprise, despite the challenging content I didn't find it triggering - Ada's story has such narrative weight, and the painful parts make so much sense in context, that I experienced it as a rich and satisfying work of art rather than as anything relevant to my own experience. An intense ride, but a rewarding one.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-14 07:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-14 07:26 pm (UTC)