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Sunday catch-up
Apr. 11th, 2021 06:02 pmThe only time I ever get to myself these days is after E is asleep, while Leo is cuddling them. By that point I've done 1-2 hours of bedtime already and am pretty sleepy myself, and depending how long it takes them to settle it might already be 10pm by the time I've brushed my teeth and done my skincare routine. (I only manage it once a day, but if it's the ONLY self care thing I do I am doing it, I swear.) Once I'm in bed I always spend some time journaling these days. If I don't, I lie awake in the middle of the night with stuff going round my head. So the paper journal has been getting the blow-by-blow of the last few weeks. I don't want to fire the laptop up in bed in the dark, because screentime at that point is poor sleep hygiene. And I don't really have any other opportunities during the day. So I've been quiet here.
The night weaning is... a whole story. TDLR: cold turkey Did Not Work, so now we're trying gentle breastfeeding weaning with nursing on demand at night but with gentle removal off the breast rather than letting them fall asleep with nipple in their mouth. The more on it I am with the removal, the less sleep we all get; the more exhausted I am, the more likely I am to just fall asleep while they're nursing and not do the removal. And the last week there's been epic teething. So it's one step forward, one step back at the moment. We're just hanging in there and weathering the teething and the waking-every-hour-to-feed while it lasts, and continuing to do the gentle removal and Leo being on cuddleshift rather than me (which does tend to result in fewer wakings to feed when there isn't teething) as much as we can in the meantime, and hoping that the nurse-to-sleep association changes. It apparently takes a few weeks, so it's OK if we aren't there yet.
We did a week of me sleeping in the spare room, during which E cried a lot and Leo stayed up all night every night walking them up and down in the sling. E slept only if in the sling in motion, and woke up whenever Leo lay them down in bed. After a week of that I got involved and we tried a couple of nights of trying to teach E to go to sleep in bed, but that resulted in screaming all night and by the end of the second night, I was nursing them at night again. We hired a lactation consultant to help me with latching and positioning, which helped make night feeds less painful, and I read the No-Cry Sleep Solution and learned about sleep associations and the gentle removal technique.
Then we implemented a strategy involving earlier bedtimes, more consistent routines, and all that good stuff. That's been going on for just over two weeks. We were seeing a notable increase in total sleep time and reduction in night waking after just one week - like for literally the first time in a year or more E slept for 13 hours in 24 (11-12 hours at night and 1-2 hours in the day) - but then the teething kicked in and we're back to much less sleep and 8 wakings a night.
We've been pretty zombiefied. Had to take a few days off work just to hunker down and share childcare in survival mode. The last couple of nights I've had a bit more sleep, but only by slacking on the weaning plan. Still, we persist.
So today is my first chance to write here, rather than in the paper journal, in weeks. E didn't nap today so Leo went up to start bedtime half an hour ago, and I've been drinking tea and having half an hour to myself downstairs during daylight. The luxury!
It's been a good Sunday. We drove over to Li's new place to visit her for the first time since she moved out last week. (A whole other sad story which I'll tell another time.) Her new place is gorgeous and really perfect for her. I'm so glad to see her settled and comfortable, and it's only 40 minutes drive away, so not too far. We hung out in the garden at a social distance and chatted and ate stirfry, and the day warmed up and we took off our jumpers, and drank raspberry tea and no-alcohol pilsner. (E tried mine and exclaimed: "It's got SUGAR in it! It sure does!") It's sad and weird not to be living with her only 6 months after we moved in together, but it's clearly the right thing for her. We'll visit lots.
The rest of the afternoon has been active and satisfying - the first day in about a month I felt up to doing Things and had a day to potter around doing them. E "helped" me transplant the beans and courgettes which are getting too big for their modules. I was hoping to put them straight in the ground, but there was a frost last night and they haven't been hardened up yet, so they've just got bigger pots for now. Then we tidied the kitchen and living room, cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floor. Felt good to reclaim the space after a month of getting by with the bare minimum. The roomba is trundling around now making use of the clear floors.
Right - time to go help with bedtime. Not sure when I'll have a chance to write again, but when I do there's lots to share: the housemate hunt! The #notmycat saga! Books! Plants! But all that will have to wait til next time.
The night weaning is... a whole story. TDLR: cold turkey Did Not Work, so now we're trying gentle breastfeeding weaning with nursing on demand at night but with gentle removal off the breast rather than letting them fall asleep with nipple in their mouth. The more on it I am with the removal, the less sleep we all get; the more exhausted I am, the more likely I am to just fall asleep while they're nursing and not do the removal. And the last week there's been epic teething. So it's one step forward, one step back at the moment. We're just hanging in there and weathering the teething and the waking-every-hour-to-feed while it lasts, and continuing to do the gentle removal and Leo being on cuddleshift rather than me (which does tend to result in fewer wakings to feed when there isn't teething) as much as we can in the meantime, and hoping that the nurse-to-sleep association changes. It apparently takes a few weeks, so it's OK if we aren't there yet.
We did a week of me sleeping in the spare room, during which E cried a lot and Leo stayed up all night every night walking them up and down in the sling. E slept only if in the sling in motion, and woke up whenever Leo lay them down in bed. After a week of that I got involved and we tried a couple of nights of trying to teach E to go to sleep in bed, but that resulted in screaming all night and by the end of the second night, I was nursing them at night again. We hired a lactation consultant to help me with latching and positioning, which helped make night feeds less painful, and I read the No-Cry Sleep Solution and learned about sleep associations and the gentle removal technique.
Then we implemented a strategy involving earlier bedtimes, more consistent routines, and all that good stuff. That's been going on for just over two weeks. We were seeing a notable increase in total sleep time and reduction in night waking after just one week - like for literally the first time in a year or more E slept for 13 hours in 24 (11-12 hours at night and 1-2 hours in the day) - but then the teething kicked in and we're back to much less sleep and 8 wakings a night.
We've been pretty zombiefied. Had to take a few days off work just to hunker down and share childcare in survival mode. The last couple of nights I've had a bit more sleep, but only by slacking on the weaning plan. Still, we persist.
So today is my first chance to write here, rather than in the paper journal, in weeks. E didn't nap today so Leo went up to start bedtime half an hour ago, and I've been drinking tea and having half an hour to myself downstairs during daylight. The luxury!
It's been a good Sunday. We drove over to Li's new place to visit her for the first time since she moved out last week. (A whole other sad story which I'll tell another time.) Her new place is gorgeous and really perfect for her. I'm so glad to see her settled and comfortable, and it's only 40 minutes drive away, so not too far. We hung out in the garden at a social distance and chatted and ate stirfry, and the day warmed up and we took off our jumpers, and drank raspberry tea and no-alcohol pilsner. (E tried mine and exclaimed: "It's got SUGAR in it! It sure does!") It's sad and weird not to be living with her only 6 months after we moved in together, but it's clearly the right thing for her. We'll visit lots.
The rest of the afternoon has been active and satisfying - the first day in about a month I felt up to doing Things and had a day to potter around doing them. E "helped" me transplant the beans and courgettes which are getting too big for their modules. I was hoping to put them straight in the ground, but there was a frost last night and they haven't been hardened up yet, so they've just got bigger pots for now. Then we tidied the kitchen and living room, cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floor. Felt good to reclaim the space after a month of getting by with the bare minimum. The roomba is trundling around now making use of the clear floors.
Right - time to go help with bedtime. Not sure when I'll have a chance to write again, but when I do there's lots to share: the housemate hunt! The #notmycat saga! Books! Plants! But all that will have to wait til next time.
