Sprains and burns

[halojedha]

Three weeks ago Leo threw their back out lifting something heavy (part of the aforementioned Wrangling of Stuff). A week ago it got bad enough they saw an osteopath: since then they've had two more appointments, gone back to work, overdone it, had to take more time off, and generally been in pain and incapacitated. They've been doing the rest, heat and gentle stretching thing for the last three days, but a sprained ligament is always going to take time to heal.

We have tickets to go to Microburn this week: a beautiful tiny regional in Wales. 150 delightful people, a single communal kitchen, a beautiful organic farm, a rave chapel, yurts, workshops, and all the rest of the stuff you get from a burn. Hanging out with competent, cheerful humans whose default mode is to see what needs doing, take the initiative and get stuck in; fabulous fun and self-expression with lots of costumery and silliness; lots of gender non-conforming, queer, poly and kinky people; rewarding opportunities to participate; an escape from commercialism; and all the rest. There's an effigy burn and a temple burn. It's small but perfectly formed. In addition to our kitchen shifts we're both signed up to Ranger on Saturday and Fire Marshal at the temple burn on Sunday, and I'm really looking forward to it.

The thing is, Leo probably now can't make it. Even if their back has healed up enough by Thursday for it to be a good idea, it would risk setting their recovery back; and the burn and recovery time would both take them away from work when the injury has already done so, and they can't really afford to not be making progress with their startup right now.

So that's disappointing. I was starting to psych myself up to doing the driving-to-Wales and the unpacking and the tent pitching all by myself (I've not done a solo burn since Leo and I got together: I went to Nest 2016 solo, but booked space in one of the dorms so that was on Easy mode, and at Nowhere that year I was sharing a tent with my BFF (Bestest Faery Friend) apart from when I was sharing a tent with Leo, so I didn't do the travelling or the tent-pitching on my own then either. I'm a more experienced burner these days - six burns under my belt, including one assistant camp-lead role at Nowhere last year, and multiple other lead roles (decor/lighting/events/kitchen) and I did the getting-to-Nest thing by myself this year because Leo didn't come for build, and I do have buddies at Microburn I can team up with, but still. It's a bit intimidating.

The thing is, that would all be fine, but yesterday at work I fell down the stairs and sprained my toe. That's what I get for working on a Saturday. The second two toes on my left foot are super sore and very very reluctant to have weight put on them. They still bend okay so they aren't broken, and the bruising hasn't become visible yet, but ow.

I have a busy three days Mon-Weds this week, with at least two of those days involving schlepping around London for work, and the third one prepping and packing for the burn, all of which is going to be harder to do with a foot I can't put weight on properly. Plus it might mean I have to miss Tai Chi on Monday and Tuesday. Woe! Toe woe!

So now I'm wondering whether Microburn is even a good idea. I really want to go and have an amazing time, work has been busy lately and I hunger for a break, friend time, being outdoors and off grid. But camping is physically demanding - the mud, the carrying stuff around, the long walks everywhere including to the loo - and camping solo even more so, without someone to share the tent-pitching and bed-putting-up and striking duties with. And if my toe isn't better by then dancing and hooping will be tricky.

I sprained my ankle at the start of Nowhere 2016 on the third day of build while Leo and I were creating a new theme camp with one other co-lead, which was catastrophic timing. I'm not saying I wish I hadn't gone, but it was hard to have enough fun for the rest of the week to make the effort and pain worthwhile. The poor payoff to effort ratio was the main reason we chose not to go to Nowhere this year; desert burns are hard and there are more valuable ways to spend a month of our lives. I'm not saying that the challenge wasn't rewarding - it was - but I'm reluctant to push myself beyond sensible limits to get to Microburn and set things up so I'm comfortable while there, and then possibly be too exhausted or footsore to properly enjoy it once I'm there.

Today is the last day to transfer tickets, so if I want to sell my space I have to decide today. I dunno though. It kind of depends on how bad the sprain is and how quickly it heals. It might be fine by Thursday: there's really no way to tell.

Comments

[thestumonkey]

That sucks :(. I sympathise on the ankle injury, my ankles are really bad at the moment.
With your decision, I guess it depends if there’s further injury risk and/or what the exit cost is if you decide to leave.
Hope you heal quickly

[halojedha]

Thanks, it does suck! I'm definitely not up for risking further injury, and if it turns out I can't go I'm happy to call it a £85 donation to Microburn since I decided not to sell my ticket by the deadline yesterday. But luckily it looks well on the road to recovery, so fingers crossed I'll be all set to go after all. Am so relieved - it looked like it was gonna be really bad on Saturday, but the bruising has already mostly gone down!

[charlie]

I hope you both heal well, and soon.

Re the Microburn, it sort of sounds like you know in your heart what you want to, or should do, but just perhaps don't want to admit it as it might feel like a defeat of sorts not to go?

Putting your health first, at the cost of Things You Want To Do, is awful. I've been terrible at doing it, and my health has suffered for it most certainly. It sometimes feels like you're being defeated, by "giving up" and not going to something - for me, at least!

I have experienced two festivals while physically compromised this year (albeit it in different ways to you). I knew that it would be hard, but it turned out to be harder in ways I couldn't have predicted or tried to plan ways to work around.

[halojedha]

Yeah, doing Nowhere while physically compromised last year was really hard, and I've also got plenty of experience accompanying Leo and other loved ones to burns with various physical issues. I think they've made the right decision not to go - they sold their ticket yesterday so they recouped their funds, and their back is still really sore. It's sad but I'm excited about going.

Oh yeah - my toe is healing really fast! I decided not to sell my ticket, but totally (TOEtally) give myself permission to bail, or go a day late, or whatever I needed to look after myself. Yesterday the whole toe was purple and I was Mx Limpy, so the jury was out, but today the bruising has already mostly gone down! I've been putting arnica on it and favouring it and it seem like it was a bruise rather than a sprain. There's still room for it to get worse, and I'm not going to push it, but fingers crossed if healing continues at this rate I'll be able to go as planned :)

[mr_magicfingers]

Wish I could have made it happen to go with you. Insufficient notice/funds/time etc right now. I would very much like to talk burner type things with you as there's some stuff going round in my head about trying to find a way back to that side of me and what I might be able to offer to the community somehow. I feel very distant from it these days and that saddens me.

[halojedha]

I'd love to have these conversations with you. Participation is one of those knife-edge things - not enough and its unrewarding, too much and there's the risk of burnout (and distraction from global endeavours). My relationship with it is a work in progress.

Leo's ticket has found a home, and I'm really excited to be going. The toe is well on the way to healing - looks like it was just a bad bruise rather than a sprain, the purple has mostly gone down already. I'm so glad I didn't jump the gun and sell my ticket!

[mr_magicfingers]

I'll look forward to those conversations, I hope you have a wonderful time at the burn. xxx

[halojedha]

Why don't you come to London Decom on 17 November?

[mr_magicfingers]

Probably won't be able to make that, two trips to London in october means funds are short for now.

[twirlgrrl]

Thanks for the link, I semi-asked on your other post. I really don't know why I'm surprised, but I didn't know that there was a big Burn community over there! I'm in San Francisco so of course it's a fact of life here. I've never been to BRC but I do have many friends who go and/or have gone. I'm in a different generation so many folks in my life have sortof slowed down in general and on BM in particular as it's so demanding. Anyway, have so much fun!

[halojedha]

Yeah, the Euroburn community is massive! There are regionals all over the world - I know about ones in Africa and Australia, not sure about South America and Asia but I wouldn't be surprised. I've never been to the Nevada burn, but I fully consider myself a part of the burner community. In fact many people who have been to both say that Burning Man has got too big and too commercial, and the smaller regional burns are much more in the spirit of where BM was 10 or 20 years ago.

There are three UK regionals: Burning Nest, which is in Cornwall in May/June and has about 600 people; Nottsburn, which I haven't been to, and Microburn, which is tiny in Wales. I've been to the last three Nests and the last two Microburns and I love them. The community is amazing: so creative, so open, so hilarious, and the spaces they create are just magical. The UK burns have the advantage of being relatively comfortable in terms of location/climate; all you need to cope with is a little rain and wind.

There are loads of European burns too - the one I've been to twice is (I think) the biggest European regional, which is Nowhere in the Spanish desert in July. As a desert burn, that's a lot more demanding, but it's also entirely lovely: around 3000 people, a few dozen theme camps, the site is small enough to walk around, lots of body positivity and sex positivity, plus plenty of art and art cars and spectacle. I'd like to make it to BRC at some point but it's soooo expensive and unsustainable to transport all the kit or buy it all there and then dispose of it. And it's tricky to contribute substantially from Europe, which of course is one of the things that makes going more rewarding.