![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Festive prep
Dec. 22nd, 2019 10:03 pmSince Leo's surgery we had people staying to help our for the first couple of weeks, but this last week we've been on our own. We booked extra days of childcare, but our lovely nanny C had to cancel due to their kids being ill, so we've had to make do without. It's been a bit of an endurance slog.
I'm getting much less sleep than usual, as Leo is still not able to carry E due to the way it loads their hip, which is still healing post op, so I'm on call for nappy changes as well as feeds. Being out of bed more wakes me up more and makes it harder to get back to sleep. And there have been nights when Leo's not been well enough to even be on cuddle-E -back-to-sleep duty, so I've had my sleep disturbed by a wriggly baby as well as everything else. Oh, and E's been waking up every 3 hrs. I reckon I've been getting around 5-6 hrs a night, which over three weeks leads to a serious accumulated sleep debt.
I feel fatigued to my bones. A few days ago I said to Leo I wss reaching some sort of limit. I've been spending energy I don't have for a while, digging into my reserves, and I'm about to run out of credit. But dealing with the pain of their recovery, stress of trying to go back to work, and as much childcare as they're doing to try and give me a chance to cook and do housework, never mind any of my own work, is leaving them exhausted too. There's no slack in our system.
I've had a few days in a row now of doing minimal childcare. Slinging them and getting the bus to the library. Putting them in the bouncer with a piece of wrapping paper to play with while I wrap presents. Lying them in the baby gym and then sitting next to them and watching and chatting to them. Sitting them up on the sofa with their bowl of Interesting Objects and just providing physical support to stop them falling over, and picking stuff up if they drop it and want it back.
They have actually done some Independent Sitting lately for up to 30 seconds at a time unsupported. And they can do much longer with a little support, like a bean bag cushion behind them. The time when they can sit next to me and play while I do something /else/ with my hands is not far off!
I'm well behind on the housework. But I did manage to do a bit of work on Saturday thanks to Leo's girlfriend B, who slung E and got them to take a 2 hour nap, which was frankly amazing. So I've got content queued over Christmas. And I have a) got everyone presents, and b) wrapped all the presents (with help from E), so I'm feeling much better about it all than I was before the weekend. We're travelling and our hosts are sorting food, so apart from bringing a few items with us we don't have that to worry about.
We're spending Christmas Eve to Boxing Day with Z & E, E's Oddparents, and 26-28th with my family in Sheffield, stopping in to visit my Grandma on the way back. It'll be the first time she's met E. I'm looking forward to seeing her.
Tomorrow my metamour B is coming back to help out with childcare while I pack, or maybe help me pack. It's really decent of her to help us out. I'm grateful and relieved not to be trying to do all the breastfeeding, all the child carrying, all the packing and all the housework by myself. Together I'm hoping we can blitz the physical tasks and leave the house in a state that won't be horrible to come home to.
I love Christmas. I'm excited about seeing chosen family and family of origin. We're doing Piemas with Z and E, and spending the day making and eating delicious vegan gluten free pies. And my parents are both vegan now too, so there'll be lots of tasty plant based noms with them too. Cashew cheese!
I'm getting much less sleep than usual, as Leo is still not able to carry E due to the way it loads their hip, which is still healing post op, so I'm on call for nappy changes as well as feeds. Being out of bed more wakes me up more and makes it harder to get back to sleep. And there have been nights when Leo's not been well enough to even be on cuddle-E -back-to-sleep duty, so I've had my sleep disturbed by a wriggly baby as well as everything else. Oh, and E's been waking up every 3 hrs. I reckon I've been getting around 5-6 hrs a night, which over three weeks leads to a serious accumulated sleep debt.
I feel fatigued to my bones. A few days ago I said to Leo I wss reaching some sort of limit. I've been spending energy I don't have for a while, digging into my reserves, and I'm about to run out of credit. But dealing with the pain of their recovery, stress of trying to go back to work, and as much childcare as they're doing to try and give me a chance to cook and do housework, never mind any of my own work, is leaving them exhausted too. There's no slack in our system.
I've had a few days in a row now of doing minimal childcare. Slinging them and getting the bus to the library. Putting them in the bouncer with a piece of wrapping paper to play with while I wrap presents. Lying them in the baby gym and then sitting next to them and watching and chatting to them. Sitting them up on the sofa with their bowl of Interesting Objects and just providing physical support to stop them falling over, and picking stuff up if they drop it and want it back.
They have actually done some Independent Sitting lately for up to 30 seconds at a time unsupported. And they can do much longer with a little support, like a bean bag cushion behind them. The time when they can sit next to me and play while I do something /else/ with my hands is not far off!
I'm well behind on the housework. But I did manage to do a bit of work on Saturday thanks to Leo's girlfriend B, who slung E and got them to take a 2 hour nap, which was frankly amazing. So I've got content queued over Christmas. And I have a) got everyone presents, and b) wrapped all the presents (with help from E), so I'm feeling much better about it all than I was before the weekend. We're travelling and our hosts are sorting food, so apart from bringing a few items with us we don't have that to worry about.
We're spending Christmas Eve to Boxing Day with Z & E, E's Oddparents, and 26-28th with my family in Sheffield, stopping in to visit my Grandma on the way back. It'll be the first time she's met E. I'm looking forward to seeing her.
Tomorrow my metamour B is coming back to help out with childcare while I pack, or maybe help me pack. It's really decent of her to help us out. I'm grateful and relieved not to be trying to do all the breastfeeding, all the child carrying, all the packing and all the housework by myself. Together I'm hoping we can blitz the physical tasks and leave the house in a state that won't be horrible to come home to.
I love Christmas. I'm excited about seeing chosen family and family of origin. We're doing Piemas with Z and E, and spending the day making and eating delicious vegan gluten free pies. And my parents are both vegan now too, so there'll be lots of tasty plant based noms with them too. Cashew cheese!
