PodlingCare, 4 months old: milestones and sleep

We have *sharp inhale* actually got enough support right now. Between our cleaner, Char visiting for a nannying day once a week, dear friends who babysit, and social visits from friends and family willing to pitch in, we are actually keeping on top of the housekeeping and childcare while each managing to get some work done. It's... frankly astonishing.

We just asked our cleaner to go back down to one visit a week rather than two, because we're managing the laundry and housework with help from everyone else, and the last few times there's not been that much for her to do. The fact that the ranitidine continues to keep E's sickness at bay really helps.

Speaking of E they've had loads of development milestones lately! Here's some of what they've been doing:

• Picking up all the objects from the Bowl of Interesting Objects and throwing them on the floor one by one
• Smooshing their hands in my food, getting covered in gravy and dropping rice and peas into my lap
• Talking and singing with great enthusiasm and conviction. More vowels than consonants, but very expressive. Lovely whistling fluting noises. We've been doing lots of mirroring and dialogue and it's absolutely adorable.
• Giggling! Lots of smiles but also proper chuckles and laughter. They like being tickled, and rolling around on the bed, and being pounced on. And nomming things. I like E's sense of humour. They are funny.
• Chewing All The Things. Char reckons they can feel top teeth under the gums. Lots of dribbling.
• Sitting up with a bit of support. Sitting up propped with pillows on either side, doing independent play on the sofa. Sitting in a highchair bolstered by a wrap smooshed around them for extra support.
• Grabbing things and putting them in their mouth. Mostly people's sleeves and hands.
• Getting much better at tummy time. Also enjoy doing acro and being a flying baby!
• They aren't rolling so much as doing... a sort of volitional toppling? Basically they can get from sitting to lying, they just don't know what to do next. It does mean I have to keep a close eye to make sure they don't semi-deliberately topple off the sofa. I've had to catch them once. Now I wedge them in with cushions.

I think they aren't sleeping enough? They're managing 7-9 hours most nights around feeds, and 0-3 hours a day in naps? A couple of days recently they've had no naps at all. A four month old is "meant" to be sleeping 14 hours a day total, although they also say that if your baby seems happy most of the time they're probably sleeping enough, which E does.

Anyway, I want them to have all the sleep they need for good brain development. Not to mention that more sleep would be good for us! We've been doing baby led sleep so far, but we've decided maybe some gentle encouragement/facilitation might be in everyone's interest.

So we've started a bedtime routine at 8pm. I get in pyjamas with brushed teeth. Put E in warm sleep clothes, grow bag, nappy change and hold out, lights out, cuddle and feed until asleep. Then gently transfer to the side cot and tuck them in.

It's been working well. A couple of nights we got them down by 9.30pm. Which suddenly creates time for Leo and I to spend together. We've been having sex! We did 30 minutes of meditation together! Amazing.

Sometimes though even with the routine they feed for an hour, sleep for a bit, wake up, feed for a bit, sleep for a bit, wake up, feed again... And then it's 11.30pm or something. 

The last week or so we've had the 19 week sleep regression. Neurons are firing, brain is active and it leads to disturbed sleep much as it does with adults. We've had a couple of nights of 60-90min feeds every 60-90 mins, and by 8am after 12 hours in bed I've had around 4 hours sleep. Brutal.

Still, we've been making good progress with daytime naps. E is very sensitive to sensory input and tends to get a bit manic, so the trick is to anticipate a nap (eg a feed around 11am), change nappy, turn the lights down, close the curtains, turn music off and stop talking. I was stuck under a baby with the lights on the other day and had good results putting a muslin over their head.

Of course, this technique only works if I'm then available to spend the next 30-45 mins snoozing under a baby.

On days when someone else is on primary care duty it's about putting them in the sling at the right time and going for a walk. Which, given the weather, also involves dressing them in two pairs of leggings, two pairs of thick socks and a fleece hoodie. 

So... naps are a bit of a production. And neither approach (sling nor post feed cuddles) frees up the primary caregiver to do anything else. But we're making good progress with settling them in the side cot for the first one or two sleep cycles of the night, so with time maybe we'll be able to work up to settling them in the cot for a nap, too.