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I'm sitting at my kitchen table with a drowsy three day old tucked inside a nursing top and nestling against my tummy. This isn't quite the first time I've had both hands free and a spare moment to type something since the birth, but it's close. Our podling is indescribably precious and wonderful. I can't get over how perfect they are. It's Friday today, and I gave birth on Tuesday. I don't know how long it'll take me to finish writing this post - I suspect it'll happen in snatches here, snatches there, so it might come in a few parts!
Content note: Pregnancy, contractions, labour, home birth, active birth
About a week ago, my belly dropped. Suddenly the high, firm, rather sore mound of baby-filled uterus tenderising my internal organs was several inches lower. Podling (name redacted to protect their privacy) wasn't due for another week, but I started to wonder if it might be time soon. Around the same time my fatigue and heaviness seemed to lift away, and I spent four days on a nesting and baking bender. I made fruit and seed flapjack to eat during labour - two batches of it after the first one turned out too crumbly (I'd skipped the sugar in hopes of making it slightly more sustaining, but it seems sugar is necessary to get it to stick together), and did a bunch of batch cooking. I made granola. And cornbread! I never bake.
People talk about getting a "spurt of energy" before labour starts. In my case this was definitely a sign.
At 2am on Monday morning, I was woken up by cramps. Thinking it was gut pain, I went to the loo, but it continued in short bursts as I got back into bed. I hadn't had any Braxton Hicks contractions yet - maybe this was them? They didn't hurt enough to feel like real contractions - just sort of moderate period pain, each wave lasting less than a minute. I lay in bed and dozed, and eventually fell back asleep, only to be woken up from a dream by another wave. After lying there a bit longer, another one came. I looked up "signs of labour" on my phone and found myself unsure. They seemed to be coming every 15 minutes or so, still not super intense.
After the next one, I woke Leo up. That was at 4.30am on Monday morning. I wouldn't get proper sleep again for another 43 hours.
We lay in bed together, cuddling and experiencing the contractions. The previous night I'd been reading Active Birth - I hadn't quite got to the end of the chapter on labour and birth - which counsels upright postures during labour, to help the pelvis open and let gravity assist with the descent of the baby through the cervix. Squatting is ideal, standing and kneeling up also good, and kneeling on all fours and lying on your side are the recommended rest positions. Any leaning back, lying on your back or sitting in a semi-reclined position are described as actively unhelpful.
The period pain like sensations and a persistent ache in my lower back made it uncomfortable to lie down, so I was taking the book's advice. I was moving around on the bed, trying different positions, kneeling, moving on all fours, getting up and walking around. The contractions made me catch my breath and focus on my body sensations, but they were bearable. In between, Leo and I cuddled and talked softly. We both felt awake, excited.
At 5.30am I messaged our doula and sent her an update. I said it might still be Braxton Hicks - in my reading I'd learned they could be frequent and could go on for days, so I was cautious about raising a false alarm. She replied a couple of hours later. The pattern was the same: short 30 second contractions every 10-15 minutes, intense enough that I tended to stop talking and concentrate on them. Leo brought me a hot water bottle to press against my lower back to help ease the ache, but I soon abandoned it in favour of staying active. The pain was a slow wave I could feel building in my lower back, which then crested before fading away. I hadn't had a bloody show, and my waters hadn't broken.
Leo started setting up the birth pool. I was hoping both that this was the start of labour, and that it was a false alarm and would stop for a few hours so I could grab some more sleep. In between contractions I stayed still, leaning forward on a pile of cushions and focusing on my breathing, trying to have little micro-dozes. I'd had around 3 hours sleep and felt nervous about going into labour from a starting point of being already tired. If I was in labour, I wanted to make progress and give birth as soon as possible!
At 8am I timed the gap between contractions: they were around 7 minutes apart, but each one was still only 30 seconds long. Shiri, our doula, said she was on her way over. I was still thinking it might too early to be sure, but Leo seemed pretty convinced that today was the day. I was persuaded that they weren't Braxton Hicks - I was in the latent phase of labour - but I also knew that the latent phase could go on for hours or days. The contractions weren't completely regular - sometimes they came very 5 minutes, sometimes every 10. Some were more intense than others.
Shiri arrived around 10.30am with grapes, strawberries, snack bars, energy balls, massage oil and other goodies, and we settled in. As an experiment, I tried to talk through a contraction and could, just about, but I preferred not to try. Leo and Shiri sorted out the room, clearing out items that were in the way and filling the pool. There was a false start where the first attempt to fill the pool ran far too cold, so it got emptied and refilled. I hung out on my pile of cushions on the sofa, sometimes using the birth ball, sometimes getting up and leaning against the wall. Between contractions I messaged the friends who we'd been planning to see that day letting them know why I was unavailable, and sent messages to friends and family. I ate a bowl of granola, some flapjack and a banana and listened to drum and bass, wiggling my booty to try and ease the ache in my lower back.
Finally the pool was ready, and I got in. Leo got in and we had a cuddle in the warm water. We'd called the home birth team midwives and let them know what was happening, but we hadn't asked them to come over yet - the guidance was not to call the midwives until contractions were coming 3 every 10 minutes, and we were still at 1-2 every 10 minutes. I was impatient to progress, so I was doing what I could to keep things moving. I did a lot of squatting - which was much easier in the birth pool - to open my pelvis, and tried to keep moving and stay in all the upright active birth positions as much as possible. Squatting did intensify the contractions - and it intensified the pain too - so I did it as much as I could bear to. Being so tired wasn't a good basis for doing such a workout over so many hours!
Leo and I did what we could to get the oxytocin flowing: lots of making out, naked cuddles, heavy petting, and Shiri gave us some privacy for some sexual play. That definitely helped.
Mid afternoon, we'd managed to get the contractions from every 5 minutes to every 3 minutes. Shiri was excited. She suggested we call the midwives.
Miranda, our first midwife, arrived. Of course having a new person in the space, having conversations with her, having my blood pressure checked and temperature taken, having the fetal heartbeat checked, all inhibited the oxytocin release and the contractions slowed right down again. All the observations turned out good, however, and I used the longer breaks between contractions to drink tea and eat some food.
Being interrupted for observations every so often was a bit of a pain. Around 6pm I tried to check my own cervix to see how dilated I was. I could feel softness, but I couldn't reach in far enough around my bump to feel a gap. I asked Miranda to check it out. She said I was 3cm dilated.
I admit, I was a bit disappointed. The guidance is to call the midwife at 4cm dilation, so I felt like I'd jumped the gun a bit. I'd also been in labour for 16 hours at this point, so it felt like slow progress. Even if it speeded up towards the end, I didn't think I could manage labouring for another 16 hours!
Still, here we were. Miranda gave us some space and we did what we could to get things going again - squatting, make outs, moving around, etc. The downstairs room was a lovely space - the bunting friends and family had made at my birth blessing festooning the walls, and my birth playlist playing, which I'd been assembling for the last few months. I was really enjoying being at home, really enjoying sharing the experience with Leo.
Shiri was also being fantastic - I really appreciated having her there. I discovered she gave excellent lower back massages.
Run out of time to write more - will continue tomorrow.
Part 2 - Established labour: Pain »
Part 3 - Childbirth »
Content note: Pregnancy, contractions, labour, home birth, active birth
About a week ago, my belly dropped. Suddenly the high, firm, rather sore mound of baby-filled uterus tenderising my internal organs was several inches lower. Podling (name redacted to protect their privacy) wasn't due for another week, but I started to wonder if it might be time soon. Around the same time my fatigue and heaviness seemed to lift away, and I spent four days on a nesting and baking bender. I made fruit and seed flapjack to eat during labour - two batches of it after the first one turned out too crumbly (I'd skipped the sugar in hopes of making it slightly more sustaining, but it seems sugar is necessary to get it to stick together), and did a bunch of batch cooking. I made granola. And cornbread! I never bake.
People talk about getting a "spurt of energy" before labour starts. In my case this was definitely a sign.
At 2am on Monday morning, I was woken up by cramps. Thinking it was gut pain, I went to the loo, but it continued in short bursts as I got back into bed. I hadn't had any Braxton Hicks contractions yet - maybe this was them? They didn't hurt enough to feel like real contractions - just sort of moderate period pain, each wave lasting less than a minute. I lay in bed and dozed, and eventually fell back asleep, only to be woken up from a dream by another wave. After lying there a bit longer, another one came. I looked up "signs of labour" on my phone and found myself unsure. They seemed to be coming every 15 minutes or so, still not super intense.
After the next one, I woke Leo up. That was at 4.30am on Monday morning. I wouldn't get proper sleep again for another 43 hours.
We lay in bed together, cuddling and experiencing the contractions. The previous night I'd been reading Active Birth - I hadn't quite got to the end of the chapter on labour and birth - which counsels upright postures during labour, to help the pelvis open and let gravity assist with the descent of the baby through the cervix. Squatting is ideal, standing and kneeling up also good, and kneeling on all fours and lying on your side are the recommended rest positions. Any leaning back, lying on your back or sitting in a semi-reclined position are described as actively unhelpful.
The period pain like sensations and a persistent ache in my lower back made it uncomfortable to lie down, so I was taking the book's advice. I was moving around on the bed, trying different positions, kneeling, moving on all fours, getting up and walking around. The contractions made me catch my breath and focus on my body sensations, but they were bearable. In between, Leo and I cuddled and talked softly. We both felt awake, excited.
At 5.30am I messaged our doula and sent her an update. I said it might still be Braxton Hicks - in my reading I'd learned they could be frequent and could go on for days, so I was cautious about raising a false alarm. She replied a couple of hours later. The pattern was the same: short 30 second contractions every 10-15 minutes, intense enough that I tended to stop talking and concentrate on them. Leo brought me a hot water bottle to press against my lower back to help ease the ache, but I soon abandoned it in favour of staying active. The pain was a slow wave I could feel building in my lower back, which then crested before fading away. I hadn't had a bloody show, and my waters hadn't broken.
Leo started setting up the birth pool. I was hoping both that this was the start of labour, and that it was a false alarm and would stop for a few hours so I could grab some more sleep. In between contractions I stayed still, leaning forward on a pile of cushions and focusing on my breathing, trying to have little micro-dozes. I'd had around 3 hours sleep and felt nervous about going into labour from a starting point of being already tired. If I was in labour, I wanted to make progress and give birth as soon as possible!
At 8am I timed the gap between contractions: they were around 7 minutes apart, but each one was still only 30 seconds long. Shiri, our doula, said she was on her way over. I was still thinking it might too early to be sure, but Leo seemed pretty convinced that today was the day. I was persuaded that they weren't Braxton Hicks - I was in the latent phase of labour - but I also knew that the latent phase could go on for hours or days. The contractions weren't completely regular - sometimes they came very 5 minutes, sometimes every 10. Some were more intense than others.
Shiri arrived around 10.30am with grapes, strawberries, snack bars, energy balls, massage oil and other goodies, and we settled in. As an experiment, I tried to talk through a contraction and could, just about, but I preferred not to try. Leo and Shiri sorted out the room, clearing out items that were in the way and filling the pool. There was a false start where the first attempt to fill the pool ran far too cold, so it got emptied and refilled. I hung out on my pile of cushions on the sofa, sometimes using the birth ball, sometimes getting up and leaning against the wall. Between contractions I messaged the friends who we'd been planning to see that day letting them know why I was unavailable, and sent messages to friends and family. I ate a bowl of granola, some flapjack and a banana and listened to drum and bass, wiggling my booty to try and ease the ache in my lower back.
Finally the pool was ready, and I got in. Leo got in and we had a cuddle in the warm water. We'd called the home birth team midwives and let them know what was happening, but we hadn't asked them to come over yet - the guidance was not to call the midwives until contractions were coming 3 every 10 minutes, and we were still at 1-2 every 10 minutes. I was impatient to progress, so I was doing what I could to keep things moving. I did a lot of squatting - which was much easier in the birth pool - to open my pelvis, and tried to keep moving and stay in all the upright active birth positions as much as possible. Squatting did intensify the contractions - and it intensified the pain too - so I did it as much as I could bear to. Being so tired wasn't a good basis for doing such a workout over so many hours!
Leo and I did what we could to get the oxytocin flowing: lots of making out, naked cuddles, heavy petting, and Shiri gave us some privacy for some sexual play. That definitely helped.
Mid afternoon, we'd managed to get the contractions from every 5 minutes to every 3 minutes. Shiri was excited. She suggested we call the midwives.
Miranda, our first midwife, arrived. Of course having a new person in the space, having conversations with her, having my blood pressure checked and temperature taken, having the fetal heartbeat checked, all inhibited the oxytocin release and the contractions slowed right down again. All the observations turned out good, however, and I used the longer breaks between contractions to drink tea and eat some food.
Being interrupted for observations every so often was a bit of a pain. Around 6pm I tried to check my own cervix to see how dilated I was. I could feel softness, but I couldn't reach in far enough around my bump to feel a gap. I asked Miranda to check it out. She said I was 3cm dilated.
I admit, I was a bit disappointed. The guidance is to call the midwife at 4cm dilation, so I felt like I'd jumped the gun a bit. I'd also been in labour for 16 hours at this point, so it felt like slow progress. Even if it speeded up towards the end, I didn't think I could manage labouring for another 16 hours!
Still, here we were. Miranda gave us some space and we did what we could to get things going again - squatting, make outs, moving around, etc. The downstairs room was a lovely space - the bunting friends and family had made at my birth blessing festooning the walls, and my birth playlist playing, which I'd been assembling for the last few months. I was really enjoying being at home, really enjoying sharing the experience with Leo.
Shiri was also being fantastic - I really appreciated having her there. I discovered she gave excellent lower back massages.
Run out of time to write more - will continue tomorrow.
Part 2 - Established labour: Pain »
Part 3 - Childbirth »